Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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