I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
