He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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