I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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