I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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