So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
