sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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