And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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