Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize