My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
