The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
