We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
