I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
