Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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