Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
