can u get pink eye on your cock?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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