Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
