i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
