let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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