Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
