that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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