Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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