I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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