my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
