so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize