I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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