I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
