In the future we'll all be gay
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
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once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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