At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
