Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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