I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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