remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
