Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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