I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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