Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
