if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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