Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
