I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
