I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
