Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize