I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
