i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
