next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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