Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You pole danced in your parka.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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