Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
