First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
