I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
