She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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