I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.