so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can feel your judgement through the phone