Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
