He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize