she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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