Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I need a burrito and a hug.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
