Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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