Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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