I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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