I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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