ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
