When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He shit in the fireplace
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
