Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
