that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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