did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
