apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm too high and old for this...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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