all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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