Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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