The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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