he wants to bone in the snuggie
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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